Uncertainty

I have heard some sermons at church recently that really discuss the heart of what God expects from his followers. So, now that I don't have questions about the big picture, I am still trying to fine tune my life.

I don't know what I want in a relationship. I seem to let my standards slip. I live with the day in day out sneaking suspicion that he is up to something. But, I don't want to engage in that conversation. Instead I want to rest my head in the comfort of my Lord's arms and just relax. I am troubled but I don't want to sound jealous.

Too much work there. These areas that I feel helpless in may be the very food/heart of my eating problem. I really have to work on opening my mind to feel the emotion and to stop masking something uncomfortable with something to chew on.

For a few days I have felt that I am being too informative, or disclosing too much of my personal life. But I get on a role and don't know how to shut up...

what's a woman to do?

I guess I still must focus on my strengths. Focus on me (like I explained to Jose -and him and his sister -- my children) the rest that I should not worry. What is mine, will be mine, what is not meant to be mine, will go away. I can not guarantee the results. I can invite conversation, discussion, honesty. I can do my best to rely on God, thereby testing my actions and trying to give the most encouraging approach to life.

Renewal

I believe with each day, I am called to have a renewal of faith. I have to consciously take my mind off all that will not help me and purposefully focus on the new, cheerful, enlightened life that I have before me.
Life is not the back seat of a taxi making the occasional comment about the direction, or sitting in a bus and hoping that the stop I get off is somewhere close to my destination.
Part of the difficulty is that the training to get to this point where I find myself hasn't allowed me to realize the difference ways of living life at this level until now. This is not to blame someone for doing wrong, it is just my focus has often been at fault and how much attention I really paid to others around me.

Today, is another day given to me to live. I am determined to find good cheer, smiles and relaxation. I will be motivated to complete the tasks I have set before me and because I am working together with God, I will succeed.

The Inner Battles

Oh how the battle of the bulge attempts to defeat me.

Even now that I found how to stop the desire to eat, I still have the mind set come about saying that I would like to chew, I would like to sink my teeth into something -- that I don't need to eat!

Why love another?

Times are hard in this economy. People seem to change daily. Is there enough left to love another? Does it leave us with even less money in our pockets?

I don't know what happened to all the fun and happiness. Each day is just a little more grim than the day before. Maybe it is me. Maybe I am just too separated from what I like and want. I have spent so much time nurturing and caring for the wants of others, I have lost touch with what matters and is fun to me.

There is no good reason to be so deeply invovled that you have to meditate to figure out what you want. I am at a loss.

Faith & Belief

Genuinely, I think that faith and belief have to be so deeply embedded in a person that there is no room for fear.

Because fear minimizes faith. I have to walk with the assurance of knowing that God is on my side, that God is in control, that God can fix all things. That when I take the wrong road, or make a decision that goes against the goals I have set, my faith in God will allow those actions to work towards good.

But as Paul says, I should not use this excuse to continue to do bad.
I really have to put a considerable amount of energy into thinking about what is good. What would God like me to do with the rest of my life? Take baby steps. Walk in a direction that you are sure God agrees with. simple charity, acts of kindness. meditate. look for the urgings of the Holy Spirit. Meditation is key to getting inside one's mind, getting in tune with my own feelings, and hearing the voice of change that is needed to encourage me to go the right way.