Ode to Special Circumstance

On the way home, I was stopped by a thought

I remembered a proposal that was made at dawn/sunrise one summer morning - where the whether was just right and a young handsome man made his way down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

The entire length of our relationship he continued to remind me how beautiful I am and not only that but to lift my head and defend my beauty, never trying to live in a shadow.

Then I remember the day he told me to just be good and leave the bad stuff to him.

These few memories compiled a moment of thinking of the grand love that God has for me.  The way that our Creator may just view me.  So once again I thank a man named after a prophet, Joshua, for reminding me of the still quiet messages that God tries to send our way.

Holding on

believing that I can make it through the difficult moment, the stress, the worry,
the secret conversations, how do I hold on.
believing that all is in the control of the master and just becuase the OM meets with the Managing Partner and then with her assistant, it doesn't mean it is about me.  holding on
believing that if that my worst fear were to be realized, I still have nothing to worry or fear because my God, my Lord, my Savior, the Holy Spirit, and the angels of the heavens are in control, protecting and working on my behalf - holding on.
as the anxiety attack gets worse as my heart rate increases as I sit still and just hope against hope - holding on.
Sweet Jesus, thank you that you are the anchor of my faith.  Amen

The moment when cheerfulness crashes and burns

Let's see is it the moment when you are ridiculed
Is it the moment when you are humiliated in a group of people

Is it when you sense that others are laughing at you.

God why?
Why do the assaults have to come.

I guess it is about learning
Learning to brush it off and pay attention to the most important and letting go of what is not important

Taking a moment to just fill in with the presence of God.
The world is filled with people who are hurt, who are not going to stop and prevent themselves from hurting others.

Relational

I find it most difficult to separate from the situations around me.
I think right now this is one of the vital areas in which God is working in my life.

I often get distracted from the most important task because I am suddenly filled with thoughts of other things.  For example, I worry about my friend and office manager Marisela because she left early yesterday and she is not in the office today.

However, that she did not confide in me sort of leads to not needing to spend a lot of time thinking about her plight when I have my own.

Is it nosiness that causes me to wonder, or just plan care.

Nonetheless, I ask God to release from the bondage of this moment.  Where I contemplate over and over again about her situation.  Heavenly Father you have the best plans for all of us.  At this moment please work in Marisela's life and whatever the delay, the problem, whatever has manifested please take dominion and work on it.

Thank you oh Holy God.
Amen

Listening - to God

Sometimes listening to the small voice of God - involves listening to my daughter.

I am in loads of financial trouble right now.  Including check fraud and overdrawn accounts.

But, I took a word of advice given to me by my daughter ions ago and funny as it is, it worked.
I explained to the creditor that I don't have a checking account and that I had been a victim of check fraud.

so they worked out an agreement where I pay in cash in one of their stores.
Funny, is, as my daughter often says, if I had not asked or spoke to them - they would not be paid, I would be in further problems with the debt and nothing would have been resolved.

How great it is to listen!

It' a New Day

I am borrowing the song title of lyrical sentence of a popular gospel song.

Thank you God that it is a new day.  It is getting more difficult to chart my course through this life.  I come to a conclusion of what a good system would be to keep my spirits up and then I am forced to re-evaluate.

I remember more of what other people say than they do and I have to stop bringing back old conversations.  Living in today, mean embracing the changes the new relationships, confidences, and all the things that put smiles on our faces.

Holy God, keep me in today.  Help me see the real value of today and though I may assist with future plans, help me to live in and for today.

I love you God.

humble servant - Rhonda

September 12, 2012

Such a nice day that sounds great to try new things...

It is, without a doubt, one of the hardest things for me to be assertive.  To explain what I need and then ask for it.  funny is that it is hard in interpersonal communication as well as prayer.

An example, I ask that I get a day where I work exclusively with my assistance, and after much explanation and additional words, the evident answer is "no".  Because, my assistant would like to multi-task and the office manager has conceded her that right.

This begs the question of who she is assisting.

Now the deep breath.

Dear Lord, I am growing out of my position, out of my situation.  I am waiting on you to clear the way to "bigger" and "better" things.  I don't know from where or how, or when, but I trust you God.  I have made myself a promise that I will not belly ache, complain, protest and register my thoughts about this with all the available ears.  I am beginning on a new path where I act and believe that you will bring me to where I need to be.

Be refreshed and made anew

The temptation to be angered by the requests of others.

I see that constantly arise.

As I reflect on reading an e-mail and finding an intrinsic request - I get haughty, angry, frustrated instantly.

But then I ask myself why.

Why am I angered.

So, I must take it to the cross.

Heavenly Father I submit my being, my self, my life to you.

I ask that you continue to mold me and that I learn to keep you ever present in my mind.

As each thought and emotion is brought into submission.

Thank you my Lord and Savior for your example and tremendous sacrifice for me.

The Mom of Today

There is no guarantee, no training, just hit the ground running
I want so much to be strict enough, not to lenient
Kind enough not too flexible.

I love my daughter with my strength and understanding
But child raising is a challenge that needs sheer perseverance

KIND Lord instruct me, guide me and show me.